What's in My Bag? The Things a Queen Can't Live Without (Or, If We're Being Picky, Without Which a Queen Can't Live)

It's time to pack for a trip. Or go to a wedding. Or go out with friends right after work. Or do something that requires you to be able to do your full face (or at least, touch it up) without access to your full makeup collection. So, what do you bring along? 

For me, the end-goal in packing up a makeup bag is to have a wide range of options in the smallest number of products. Basics for every look: the skin perfectors, the shine fighters, the make-you-look-like-you-got-sleep-ers. Brows and mascara, and oh, don’t forget the lip balm. Beyond that, it’s about finding the products that you love and that love you back- the perfect nude gloss, the vampy red lipstick, and the dramatic winged liner. I’ll go through what I’ve got floating around in my cosmetic bag (okay, okay, bags)- the stuff that’s so good I can’t bear to leave it at home.

And this is after I weeded out about twenty other products. Be proud of me.

1) MAC Cremesheen Glass in Petite Indulgence: a lightweight, non-sparkly pink gloss. Perfect texture and color for summer. Looks beautiful on bare lips. Less expensive dupe? NYX lipgloss in “Beige” (not beige at all- very pink).


2) bareMinerals Marvelous Moxie Lip Gloss in Dare Devil: even though the unnecessary separation of the word “daredevil” drives me nuts, this gloss is fantastic. I got it in one of my monthly bags from Ipsy (if you haven’t heard about this by now, look it up. It’s awesome- check it out here), and I’m glad, because I wouldn't have expected a lipgloss from a foundation-focused brand to be so nice. Minty, tingly, sheer but beautiful. I can’t imagine this color looking bad on anyone.

3) MAC Dazzleglass in Bare Necessity: Amazeballs. A sheer, nude gloss that looks fantastic alone or on top of any lip color. This gloss manages to be ridiculously sparkly (drag queen dream), but not gritty or sticky. WIN.

MAC Petite Indulgence, bareMinerals Dare Devil, MAC Bare Necessity

4) Clinique Almost Lipstick in Spicy Honey: by lipstick du jour. Great product for those days that you want to look polished, but you don’t have time to do it. Enough pigment to make your lips look defined, but light and moisturizing enough that it could almost be considered a balm. Big plus: it absorbs so quickly into your lips that you don’t have to worry about that dreaded hair-in-lipstick problem when you hit the beach.

Clinique Almost Lipstick in Spicy Honey

5) Rimmel London Lasting Finish Kate Lipstick in shade 101: I am consistently impressed by these lipsticks. I'm fond of Rimmel anyhow, but this Kate Moss line is the closest dupe in texture, wear, and pigmentation that I’ve found to MAC lipsticks. This particular one works well as a matte-pink-mauve-rose look.

Rimmel London Lasting Finish Kate Lipstick in 101

6) Lancome Color Design in Red Stiletto: Nothing particularly fantastic about this color or this brand- just a personal motto that a queen should always have red lipstick in her bag. There’s nothing I love more than a great red lip. Hmmm…. I sense a red-lip post coming on…

Lancome Color Design Lipstick in Red Stiletto

7) Revlon Color Burst Lip Butter in 065 Creamsicle: I would marry these if I could. I do love this color, but a word of warning: if your lips are flaky, this will make them look gross. Like... zombie lips. Make sure to do a good exfoliation before this (fun fact- you can do this using a packet of sugar from the coffee station at work- super gentle and easy) and put some sort of balm on before you apply. The other colors in this line don’t require this much work… but then, they’re not THIS color.

Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Creamsicle

8) Fresh Sugar Plum Tinted Lip Treatment: Taste like lemon, looks like berry, called plum. Luxurious. Probably not worth the money, but if I had to choose just one lip treatment… this would be in the lead.


9) EOS lip balm ball thing: Fun, also lemon-flavored, easy to find among the monotonous tube-y structures that lip products usually sport.


10) MAC Lipliners in Brick and Etcetera: The perfect red and the perfect neutral. I love these liners. Worth every penny (these run about $15.00 each). Carrying one of each of these pretty much guarantees that I’ll have a shade to match any lipstick look I feel like wearing that day.

MAC Lipliners in Etcetera, left, and Brick, right.

11) Clinique Pencil Sharpener: These things last forever, and last time I checked, were still only a dollar at Clinique. Always a good idea to have one of these around.


12) L’Oreal True Match Naturale Gentle Mineral Makeup: My go-to foundation.


13) Revlon Color-Stay Concealer: Not bad. Nice to have to touch up under the eyes and around the nose during the day.


14) E.L.F. Contouring Blush and Bronzing Powder: The perfect compact for brightening up during the day. By lunch time, my oily skin has done a number on my blush- I contour under my cheekbones with the matte-ish bronzer and then blend the blush on the outer half of the apples of my cheeks. I find that bringing blush too far in makes me look less “blushing beauty” and more “eighth grade girl at dance recital.”


15) EcoTools Small Kabuki Brush: Nice little blending tool for powders.


16) Clinique Superfine Liner for Brows in Soft Auburn: The itty-bitty point makes it easy to fill in brows naturally.


17) Benefit They’re Real! Mascara: Trial size. Decent mascara. Just nice not to have to carry around a full tube.


18) Duo Brush-On Adhesive with Vitamins: Um… I don’t know what exactly the vitamins do, but these hold lashes on (and remedy faux-lash faux pas) like gangbusters. Never be caught without it, dahhhhling.


19) Maybelline New York Line Stiletto Liquid Liner: Pretty good black liner. I always keep black liquid liner handy. My go-to look is fifties pin-up, so if I’m stuck doing makeup on a train, in the car, or in the office bathroom before work, I know that if I have this, I’ll look like I tried a whooooole lot harder than I did.

Maybelline Line Studio Liquid Liner

20) E.L.F. Blush Brush: Super cheap. Super functional. Great for contouring.


21) Rimmel Stay Matte Long-Lasting Pressed Powder: I like to set and touch up makeup with this- because there’s no mirror or brush with it, it’s not easy to do a quick touch-up, so I also keep the next guy around:


22) MAC Studio Careblend Pressed Powder: Good powder, but I think one from the drug store would work just as well. I use this to take shine off my t-zone.


23) MoroccanOil Hand Cream: Smells weird/good.


24) Oribe Apres Beach Wave and Shine Spray: I’d be lying if I said I’ll repurchase this when it runs out- that said, this light, non-salty beach spray does wonders for illuminating/refreshing my curls. And it’s got a nice, super-light hold to it.


Now, I know, I know- you're not as crazy as I am and probably don't keep enough makeup in your bag to keep RuPaul powdered and pinked for a year... so, if you pressed me to keep it down to five products? What would my bag look like then?

Clockwise from top: Rimmel London Kate Lasting Finish Lipstick in 101, Benefit "They're Real" Mascara, Revlon Colorstay concealer, MAC Studio Careblend Pressed Powder, Clinique Superfine Liner for Brows in 05 Soft Auburn

• Concealer- use as concealer and in place of foundation

• Lipstick- on lips and as a cream blush

• Brow pencil- doubles as brow and eyeliner

• Powder- Sets everything in place, gives light coverage, combats shine

• Mascara- defines and opens up eyes

What’s in your bag?

Epic Product Fails: What Not to Buy

It’s bound to happen- 
someone will recommend a product for you, you buy it, your hopes are high, you try it on, and you hate it. This is normal- sometimes, it’s the wrong product for your skin type, and sometimes (like, in my opinion, the products listed below), the cosmetic company has failed to deliver a good product. I’ve dug out a few of my least-used products (well, the ones that I haven’t already thrown out (I’m talkin’ to you, purple cream shadow)) in hopes that I can jump in front of this beauty bullet for you- don’t waste your money on these duds.

Clinique Quickliners (for eyes and lips)

I feel that I should have brand loyalty after working for Clinique, and in fact am fiercely loyal to some of their skincare and makeup products. This is not one of them. These have minimal color payoff, tug at the skin around your eyes (which is a HUGE indicator that you should not be using the liner you’re using- eyeliners especially should glide over your lids), and, assuming they were not too dry to use from the moment you unboxed them, they shortly will be. The eyeliners are also difficult to blend. The lip liners- ugh. Terrible color selection, and an even worse texture- it’s like mixing wax and clay and painfully drawing around your lips with it. Clinique, you can do better.

Maybelline Color Studio Eye Tattoo (in Painted Purple)

Now here’s a product I can get behind - brilliant, bold, flashy cream shadows from a drugstore brand? Oooooooh, yeah…. oh, wait. All of them hit home runs (even the neon orange, which should not, by laws of God and Nature, have any right to be that pigmented)- except for this purple shade. It’s embarrassing. Guys, we figured out pigmented purple in the eighties. This has GOT to be one of the most sought-after shades (purple looks great on everyone), and it’s the biggest fail- sheer, waxy, not-true-to-color-in-jar. What’s most angering? Look at the model in the photo wearing the shade. Not unless they used a full bottle on each lid. Just sayin’.

Revlon Colorstay Whipped Cream Foundation

I have recently purchased (and am decently fond of) Revlon’s Colorstay foundation. The Colorstay Whipped Cream Foundation was supposed to be a spinoff of this product- and when I purchased it, I was swayed by the lovely (albeit hefty) glass packaging, and fooled by the name, thinking this foundation would be light and airy. Wrong. The end result of this foundation is a tacky, mask-y, thick mess. It’s almost like your skin can’t breathe because the foundation is so thick. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a full-coverage foundation- but this is not full-coverage, it’s just full-gloop. You know you’re in trouble when the foundation doesn’t look good even right after you put it on. Go for the original.

Maybelline Baby Lips

Another product I had heard quite a bit about- I purchased one of these on a whim and was given another as a gift. The first I bought was a sort of taupe-y, baby pinkish color- what I had hoped would be a great, lightweight, toss-in-your-bag-and-go lip color. Unfortunately, the ingredients that lend some shimmer to this lip balm also make it fairly gritty- not what you want in a product that's supposed to improve the texture of your lips. When I was given the clear, minty balm, I had hopes for redemption, but sadly, this one felt super oily- almost like those roll-on lip balms you would get from the rollerskating rink when you were a kid. I still keep the minty one by my bed to use before I go to sleep, but it’s just because it’s there. I’ll be happy when it’s gone and I can purchase something else to replace it (or, you know, use one of the 50 other balms I already have).

Maybelline Eye Studio Master Shape Brow Pencils

Sorry, Maybelline- you do some great work, but your new product lines aren’t hits with me. I was thrilled- THRILLED- when I finally saw a drugstore brand come out with an eyebrow pencil for redheads. I’ve heard that redheads aren’t supposed to use pencils/brow colors with any red in them, but when I use “blonde” or “taupe” colors, the ashy contrast makes something look wrong on my face. So, of course, I was very excited to try Maybelline’s new brow line- and even bought one in taupe to balance out the auburn color. Waxy, waxy, bad color matches, waxy. No matter how sharp you get these babies, no matter how light a touch you use while drawing them on, these pencils feel like Elmer’s glue sticks on your brows. I’ll just have to stick with my expensive Clinique Superfine Brow liner in Soft Auburn- just waiting for the world to come around and give a faux-redhead some more viable options.







L’Oreal Infallible Never-Fail Lip Color

Great color, terrible wear. This has the same problem most long-last color-then-top-coat lip products (think Covergirl Outlast) have- they have AMAZING color payoff, they look beautiful for a bit, and then they start to wear off. Badly. They feel tacky, doughy, and drying- and if you try to retouch them, it just adds to the mess. Don’t waste your money here- instead, buy a great colored lip-liner and use that as a base for a similar color of lipstick. You’ll have long-wearing, easy-to-touch-up color.

Essence Volumizing Lash Powder

IT BURNS!!! I was so excited to try this- I’m a junky for lash-extending gimmicks. Only four dollars at Ulta, and Essence is a pretty good brand for the money. When I put it on, however, IMMEDIATE REGRET. Essentially, what this product is is tiny little white fibers that are supposed to affix themselves to your first coat of mascara so that your second coat can build on top of them and make your lashes look fake. Which would be awesome, but instead of attaching to the first coat of mascara, these little fibers go straight onto your wet eyeball. AND IT FEELS LIKE DEATH. Seriously. I tried this right before a night out- and my eyes would not stop watering. Great concept, Essence. Epic fail on the outcome.

Hard Candy Glossaholic  

Tasted like poison- threw out immediately. Enough said. Don’t waste your $ here.

Make Up Forever Smoky Lash in Dark Blue

All I can say is ,”Yeah, right.” I spent something like $22.00 on this mascara at Sephora- it was awful. Take a good, hard look at the model’s lashes. To get that blue color, they had to LOAD the product on there. Not cute. When I used it as I normally use my mascara, it was not at all blue- instead, it was a gross navy-gray-black color that made it look almost like I had just used some old mascara that I’d found under the seats of my car. Not a fanimal.

Urban Decay De-Slick Oil Control Makeup Setting Spray

Another disappointment. Supposed to help makeup stay on longer- I tried this over, under, in between- the product just doesn’t do what it says it does.

Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips Eyeshadow Palettes



Physicians formula is not my favorite brand. They have some stellar products (neutral eye shadow quad, concealers), but these eyeshadows are kind of a hot mess. They’re designed to be 9 colors placed next to each other in one giant, striped brick- about as functional as it sounds. You can see from the photos that there seem to be duplicates of colors throughout the palettes- this is also true in real life. The color payoff is bad, the sections are so small that trying to isolate your brush in just one is a task, and the actually shadow is chalky as best and un-blendable at its worst. I knooow the packaging is cute, but you’d be better off with Wet-n-Wild or an ELF pallette. Or save up and splurge on the Urban Decay Naked Palette. 



NYX Full Coverage Concealer

NOT full Coverage. Certainly not “Above & Beyond.” Like this brand, despise this product. Goes on heavily, sits in fine lines, doesn’t blend well, cakes and separates, making your eyes look worse than they did before you concealed.  Don’t say your product is something it isn’t. Tsk, tsk, NYX.

E.L.F Waterproof Eyeliner Pen

ELF has let me down. Tried this product a few years ago, tried it again recently- the product appears watery, blue-ish, faint. Not what anyone wants in a liquid liner. Sorry, ELF. You can do better.










E.L.F High Definition Powder

Another shady product from Elf. This product has fairly high reviews on most websites, which is surprising to me. It’s supposed to be a dupe for Makeup Forever’s HD Powder- in essence, its function is to disappear on the skin as though there were no product whatsoever, then make your makeup last for ages. I found the product abrasive, chalky, and veeeeeery drying- almost like I was powdering with baking soda. Next, please.

Victoria's Secret Perfumes

This product smelled great in the store- but when I got it home and opened my own bottle, there were little waxy-looking flakes floating around the bottle. It may have just been old, but it certainly turned me off to the product. Do yourself a favor- if you’re able to look at the actual bottle of something you’re about to buy before you buy it, do it. It’ll save you the trip to return it later. Not knocking all VS products, here- just be careful that you’re getting a usable product. 










So, there you have it! My least favorite products of the moment. Disagree? Have your own product woes to vent? Comment below!